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NOVEMBER 15

Happy Birthday Larondo,

You would have been 3 today my love.

Your sister has been talking a lot about you in the past days.

She asked me if we could do a picnic for your birthday. She wanted you to have pancakes and Pepperoni Pizza.

I made you a cake. Strawberry and vanilla flavour. We can't have a birthday for you and not have a cake.

I'm just so sad. 

Nowadays I have to pretend whenever people are around me. I sense they are tired of my moods and trigger-less emotional breakdowns. They cannot understand how i still grieve actively for a child that was barely 3 years.

what they do not know is that you were my friend. We connected. You are peaceful. Gentle though not dumb. Independent in your own way. Attentive to other people. You were a child yet had the aura of one who understood. You had no need ofr attention. You would sit on your own for long periods without craving attention. 

I remember dropping you off at the creche when you were just 8 weeks old. Everyone assumed you were above three months. You would just lay still and observe. The would only know you are in the room whenever you needed fresh diapers or were hungry. You were the model child. Even other parents would ask me how I trained you.

I didn't really do anything other than birth you. 

You weaned yourself at 8 months. I would leave you for days while I worked outside Lagos and whenever I return you jubilate and we just continue as though i didn't even go anywhere.

I had envisaged how close we would be in your teenage years. Mentally I had assigned your dad to parenting BamBam. 

As I type this, I am dying within. Using the knowledge I have, I lost my best to death.

I cannot wait till that moment when we meet aggain and you can explain why you bailed out on me, on us!


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