How time does fly!
At about this time 730 days ago, it had been confirmed that you were no longer with us. I still held your body in my arms anyway, hoping for a miracle. I wasn't going to give up that easily. I repeatedly sang that resurrection power song... 'Agbara Ajinde, Wa se'yani la'ye mi, l'oni l'oni wa se'yanu la'ye mi. Agbara Ajinde wa se'yanu la'ye mi. L'oni, l'oni wa se'yanu l'aye mi'. Tears had ceased, I couldn't even cry anymore. My life as I knew it had ended.
You, my Nadya, my Larondo, My Mode-Mode had stopped breathing and I almost lost my zeal to live. Looking back to that evening now, a lot of things did go wrong and as much as superpowers would have helped, I had none. I even wished I was a witch with powers to raise the dead since I had prayed and nothing happened. Yet you remained dead as you have for two years.
We have mourned you. Often wondered what you'd look like. If you'd still be cute, if your voice would have changed and if you would begin to fear or even if you would eat less (smiles). I kind of picture your face in my head and wonder what you'd look like at 5 years.
Irebami still speaks about you and often sheds a few tears when she's lonely. With you, she never got bored. She had a companion, one I had imagined will be her friend for life, I had pictured the two of you growing up together, one brazen, charismatic and boyish, while the other shy, loving and a beauty to behold. But you are forever going to be remembered in that body as our Mode-B, our prettier one.
I attended a burial ceremony today and I immediately regretted it upon arrival. The hymns, the sermon and all simply reminded me of this same day two years ago, when you ceased to make me smile, when you could no longer wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me. Oh, I how I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do all I can to keep you alive.
The times we spent together I will forever cherish my darling. You were a delight. Peaceful and Calm. I would have had a tough time loving you and your sister equally cause you were the easier one to parent. You just made everything so easy but death denied us a lifetime experience. I love you so much Apeke mi, and I miss you so so much.
When you were born, I whispered to you thanking you for completing our family. You were the second answer to our prayers. Two beautiful girls! You came and the deal was sealed. We were one happy family. Then you left and that dream became nullified. So we began the journey to complete the family again. Now I have a littlun on the way and I have been praying so hard not to have a girl. I want no semblance of a replacement. I want you in that special place, smiling always. Well, if a girl comes along, I'll love her and cherish her but she will never ever take your place my Nadya.
So this evening, I showed Irebami the post from last year where we lit a candle for you. She seemed surprised that I kept a journal for you she read the post and wept. I didn't console her, I couldn't. She asked if we could light a candle this year and I told her we could light two since you've been gone for two years.
They say time heals, I am still waiting for my healing. The days are rolling by, the years are rolling by, but my heart still feels as though you just left yesterday and I still hopelessly wish for a miracle that I'd wake up and it was a dream.
I love you ModebareOluwa Eseoghene Nadya, my peaceful daughter, the gentlest soul I have known. For your sake, I look forward to the resurrection more earnestly, so I can hold you in my arms again, My angel.
At about this time 730 days ago, it had been confirmed that you were no longer with us. I still held your body in my arms anyway, hoping for a miracle. I wasn't going to give up that easily. I repeatedly sang that resurrection power song... 'Agbara Ajinde, Wa se'yani la'ye mi, l'oni l'oni wa se'yanu la'ye mi. Agbara Ajinde wa se'yanu la'ye mi. L'oni, l'oni wa se'yanu l'aye mi'. Tears had ceased, I couldn't even cry anymore. My life as I knew it had ended.
You, my Nadya, my Larondo, My Mode-Mode had stopped breathing and I almost lost my zeal to live. Looking back to that evening now, a lot of things did go wrong and as much as superpowers would have helped, I had none. I even wished I was a witch with powers to raise the dead since I had prayed and nothing happened. Yet you remained dead as you have for two years.
We have mourned you. Often wondered what you'd look like. If you'd still be cute, if your voice would have changed and if you would begin to fear or even if you would eat less (smiles). I kind of picture your face in my head and wonder what you'd look like at 5 years.
Irebami still speaks about you and often sheds a few tears when she's lonely. With you, she never got bored. She had a companion, one I had imagined will be her friend for life, I had pictured the two of you growing up together, one brazen, charismatic and boyish, while the other shy, loving and a beauty to behold. But you are forever going to be remembered in that body as our Mode-B, our prettier one.
I attended a burial ceremony today and I immediately regretted it upon arrival. The hymns, the sermon and all simply reminded me of this same day two years ago, when you ceased to make me smile, when you could no longer wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me. Oh, I how I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do all I can to keep you alive.
The times we spent together I will forever cherish my darling. You were a delight. Peaceful and Calm. I would have had a tough time loving you and your sister equally cause you were the easier one to parent. You just made everything so easy but death denied us a lifetime experience. I love you so much Apeke mi, and I miss you so so much.
When you were born, I whispered to you thanking you for completing our family. You were the second answer to our prayers. Two beautiful girls! You came and the deal was sealed. We were one happy family. Then you left and that dream became nullified. So we began the journey to complete the family again. Now I have a littlun on the way and I have been praying so hard not to have a girl. I want no semblance of a replacement. I want you in that special place, smiling always. Well, if a girl comes along, I'll love her and cherish her but she will never ever take your place my Nadya.
So this evening, I showed Irebami the post from last year where we lit a candle for you. She seemed surprised that I kept a journal for you she read the post and wept. I didn't console her, I couldn't. She asked if we could light a candle this year and I told her we could light two since you've been gone for two years.
They say time heals, I am still waiting for my healing. The days are rolling by, the years are rolling by, but my heart still feels as though you just left yesterday and I still hopelessly wish for a miracle that I'd wake up and it was a dream.
I love you ModebareOluwa Eseoghene Nadya, my peaceful daughter, the gentlest soul I have known. For your sake, I look forward to the resurrection more earnestly, so I can hold you in my arms again, My angel.
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