Skip to main content

MAY 15

I killed myself in my mind today.

I don't want to live without you and I am not exaggerating.

I woke up crying cos I saw your dad wailing in the rest room. He made tea, and you were not there to ask for a drop of honey. You are his early bird buddy. your hugs that you so freely give are missed.

Larondo mi, you see when they say Man proposes, they were right. So i proposed that you my darling would be my bestie! You have this calmness that is lacking in your sister. You are observant and self sufficient. I had thought of you as the one I would be able to rely one. The one that would give me endless joy. The one who would always be there for me, Alas! there you are!!!

You Should have stayed with us and grow up to overdose on cuteness
So we went to church today. You dad did too. I did not cry today. I kept a straight face and blanked out. Just last week, I came to church with you. You had your lovely swag and were your chatty little self.

Life has dealt us a serious blow in the balls! I do not have balls but if I did, it'd still be an open sore!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MAY 26

PROVERBS 15: 13 A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. ___________________________________________________________________ So let's just say there's some amount of sorrow lodged in my heart. Is my spirit crushed? Oh yes it is! Is it permanently crushed? Definitely not. ____________________________________________________________________ “You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”  ―  Anne Lamott
Post a Comment
Read more

15th November, 2018

My mind has been focused on how not to think about you this whole week my love. By this I mean how not to be sad on your 5th birthday. I had thought having another child would make it better, Larondo mi, so so wrong. I'm thankful for your brother but I wish you were here trying to get his attention and love him just like BamBam is doing. I wish you didn't leave us my love. You would have been five today, you would have been a superstar at school. Showing off your clothes and cake. By now you would have been able to tell me what cartoon character you wanted on your cake. Oh my Apeke, I am still so sorry after almost 3 years that I couldn't save you, I couldn't be super mummy.  Irebami still speaks of you as though you only died last month. You have a brother now, we named him Obafemi, he doesn't look like you not even a bit. I've been studying his features just to see if you are in there at all, no you are not my special girl, you are irreplaceable, I...
2 comments
Read more

MAY 21

  I know it's not a dream but I wish I would wake up and heave a sigh of relief that this nightmare is not real.  My sweet little one, my darling Modebare. I have loved you since the first day I set my eyes on you. You actually made it impossible to not love you. My sweet girl.  I have promised to not question God Again but I look forward to seeing you again and you will tell me all about it. Why you had to leave so young with a part of me. I have died over and over with every tear that dropped from my eyes.  My darling, how I grieve at your death. The dreams I had built of you all shattered!  The memories we made together are priceless my darling. Your sister is distraught and confused at the same time. She is wondering why she cannot be an angel too and thinks its unfair you get to skip school. She misses you so much.  We have to give her another sister or brother not because we can replace you but because we want you to come back and share our ...
Post a Comment
Read more